My name is Angela Bottomsbury and I was so surprised that the Minister asked me to speak. I mean my story is not really that exciting. I know he has helped so many people over the years – I’m not sure how many I mean he seems quite old. But anyway, well, I have to admit I was in a hetrosexual relationship – married if you must. I know, it seems terribly old fashioned now and I am ashamed to admit but it is who I am and, I know I will be proud of it at some stage.
His name was Bob and he was a golf ball salesperson. I always knew there was a much better life waiting for me but, well you, know I just jumped into it because he asked me. For 11 years it was horrible I mean we had no cats and I never once got to ride a motorbike. And then the unthinkable happened – I bought a microwave. It was then that I new I had to change and while watching a 2:13 am infomercial about self closing plastic packaging I saw the Minister and all his polyester glory. Since then I have never looked back.
It was the gay hypnotism recruitment technique carried out by a highly trained MOHA staff member who before the technique I would have thought looked quite hot in his shiny tailored suit – of course he wouldn’t have been suited for me even before the change, ha ha. For lesbians they swing a purple dream catcher in front of your eyes – in a couple of seconds my whole life changed.
Thank you Minister.