Prisons make you gay. We had no idea! I quickly fired my Head of Gay Recruitment – why didn’t we know this. If it was that easy it would have changed our whole policy at the Ministry.
After that well considered and scientifically quoting Dr Ben Carson made his well considered and scientific quote that prisons make you gay, well, we could not have warranted the response. Thousands upon thousands of breeders have been shop lifting soccer balls, beating up security guards in the street, burning random flags and turning themselves in all in the hope of having their sexual misfortunes changed in prison. Yes, straight people are flocking to prisons to turn gay.
The Ministry of course does not condone or accept chaos IN ANY FORM. Its messy, bad bad BAD!!! The other day the Mail Boy was wearing a tie with too many stripes, I mean, for GODS SAKE!!
Being the humanatarium, righteous and proactive Ministry that we are, we have henceforth bought up as many prisons as we can find. Gay prisons of course. Why make it so hard to be gay we say. Just let these poor sexually strugglers in for free!! Pop in for a spell of incarceration. Come, be merry, its all fun and fairyment here!