Recently rapper Eminem confirmed the awful rumours that he wasn’t straight. I know it because it was in a movie called The Interview about 2 reputable journalists who travel to North Korea, that wonderful paragon of discipline, and conduct an interview with its country’s inspirational king Kim Jong Il. I have learnt that everything I see in a movie is true. Eminem is not, not gay.
Thank god. Imagine if someone in that vibrant, peaceful, positive, and homosexual rap industry was a raving straight lunatic. I mean none of the Ministry staff can’t rap because they are not straight which just confirms it – straight people can’t rap.
The superman of the gay rap world has gone in front of millions and said my name is Eminem and I am not straight. As a close personal friend of Eminem I know he is not afraid. While cleaning out my closet the other day I thought about the real Slim Shady and what he managed to achieve without me. Of course if he had not confronted the awful rumors he would have to smack that, the monster and he might have gone berserk. It might be time to crack open a bottle but don’t shake that too much or you might lose it. In such a case an Encore would not be warranted.
Eminem, you are an inspiration to all of us not straight people everywhere.