Its really a funny old world. I can’t understand it even if I wear the right trousers. A pastor in that quaint little village New Zealand where battle hardened sheep battle wrinkly white smeagols for rings to put God knows where, told a gay man to kill himself.
I’m thinking this well meaning pastor might be a little cross. Perhaps he put salt in his tea instead sugar although I wouldn’t recommend sugar in your tea because its an awfully hetrosexual thing to do. Not that I have anything to do with straight people, I just wish they would stop flaunting their sexuality in my face. Oh well, at least we can properly identify them so we can, quick smart, put all the resources of the Ministry in effect. Which I think is what we will do in this case.
God knows he needs to be put out of his misery. I mean whats up with all this God stuff anyway. Jesus, who apparently knew god at one stage (I hear they met at a colour therapy workshop one day) is not with out his own gay flair. Those lovely flowing white gowns would be stained in a second if a straight man, God forbid, was to wear one.
People keep quoting Jesus who, as far as my research team tell me (they had a rousing read of the bible in between watching re runs of Sex in the City last night) didn’t say anything mean about gays at all. In fact he was always so nice to everyone who came his way I do think its quite unlikely he wouldn’t himself have a few gay friends or danced to YMCA or may have himself walked on the pink side himself in between befriending prostitutes, dying and then resurrecting and not having children. I think Jesus would probably sit down and have a nice chin wag with the prospective homosexual over a cup of Middle Eastern tea.
Anyway, I digress. I have contacted my New Zealand branch of the Ministry. They were a bit busy, apparently at a tupperware retreat with some sheep. Don’t worry, the sheep were all gay in fact all New Zealand sheep are gay – my research team have a register. The pastor is obviously in need of a cup of tea himself and a nice big hug.
Good Gay and Maaaaaaaaaa!