Irish Catholic Priests can’t be Gay

A recent article by the highly unbiased bi partisan and sexually agnostic Gay Star News highlighted the travesty of Irish Catholic Priests in gay clubs.

This is revoltingly bad form because absolutely Irish Catholic priests can’t be gay.  Here are the absolute facts as the Ministry sees them:

  • gothic-chasubleThose long flowing beige gowns would pull focus from all these other wannabees queens on the dance floor.  Absolutely selfish – have you seen beige light under black lights? They would light up like a weight-watchers-before victim in a condom
  • And what about those beige silk robes with ornate gold trim, embodied lace and a ridiculous amount of buttons – how could anyone think they were gay.
  • Irish is a 5 letter word and gay is a three letter word.  Conclusive proof.  There. See!
  • The bible says, apparently
  • The pope hasn’t said they are, yet
  • Guinness is far too straight a drink.  If Cosmopolitans were Ireland’s national drink, that might be different

See, absolute conclusive proof that the Irish, let alone Irish Catholic priests can’t be gay and therefore should not be allowed in our clubs.

Good gay



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